In Spite Of It All

My cousin wrote a beautiful post about learning to love her husband forever.  I love her honesty and rawness.  She knows she has faults and is just so...human.  She isn't presenting some idealized version of herself for the world to see.  She owns up to her anger and temper-tantrums.  I think it is brilliant and courageous.

As we grow older, many marriages "grow apart."  Some days I look at my husband and think about how little we have in common. Some days I have to bite my tongue because words said in anger can't be taken back.  Other days we will sit and chat about everything and nothing and I realize how much I love him. 

Marriage is work.  It is up to us to open the lines of communication, to forgive our spouse and ourselves for misdeeds, to actively work towards growing together instead of growing apart.  Growing together doesn't have to mean having a ton in common.  I think it is healthy to have separate hobbies.  The important part is to recognize that those differences are part of your spouse and love them because of or in spite of it.

We have to remember, however, that having a healthy marriage starts with ourselves.  We can't wait for our spouse to initiate something.  If you want a healthier marriage, be the first to forgive, the first to say I'm sorry, the first to plan a romantic surprise, and the first to say let's talk.  If you want something, actively fight for it.  Stop comparing.  Stop waiting.  Stop resenting.  And fight...in a healthy, romantic way...not a hit 'em while they are down way.  You know what I mean.

This is something I need to work on because I'm not very good at expressing the way I feel.  Ironic for someone that has a blog, I know.  So thank you, cousin, for inspiring me to work on my marriage always, during the good and the bad.

Now what romantic and probably mischievous surprise shall I cook up for my husband? 

You're Going Down!

Nothing spices up a marriage like some good, old fashioned competition!  Brandon and I took advantage of my in-law's visit to go on a little bowling date.  Aren't we cute?

Bowling Date

Every time I bowl with him, I remember back to freshman year of college when I vowed never to bowl with him again.  He got soooo mad when he screwed up a shot!  Thankfully he now laughs at gutter balls and I've retracted my vow.

Have I mentioned that I'm awful at bowling?  I was magically only one point behind Brandon during the first frame.  I knew I'd better commemorate the occasion with photographic evidence.  We both knew I wasn't likely to be that close again soon.

Janelle Scores Higher Than Brandon!

Being awful at something makes it all the more fun to trash talk about it.  Real trash talk is stupid.  Trash talk that mocks your own inability is fun. Oh, game on!

Trash Talk Face

But what's this?  I scored better higher than Brandon in the 6th frame too?  I'm pretty sure a pig just flew by!

Janelle Dominates

Then all was right with the world again and Brandon kicked my butt.  He was sooo close to breaking 200 in our third game.  And I was soooo close to breaking 100.  Our awesomeness deserved more photographic evidence.

Ok, fine.  Brandon wins.

Fifteen dollars well spent.  We played four games in our hour bowling period and went home aching.  When did we get so old? 

Graffiti

I believe that the key to a happy home is the proper balance of individual, couple, and family time. It is hard to find that balance with two working parents, opposite sleep schedules, and a little one to watch. So I implemented bi-weekly family dinners, a weekly mini date night at home after Rachel goes to bed, a big monthly date, and a weekly family outing.

This weekend was our first official family outing. I don't care if the outing is as common as a trip to the grocery store or as exciting as a trip to the zoo as long as we are all together.

The mission: to pay the mortgage and make a little surprise for the grandparents.

We had our supplies in hand. Snacks: check.

Envelope: check.

But it wasn’t all smooth sailing. We had to endure traffic signals…

…famine…

…and drought.

Our driver remained calm, however, and got us to our destinations safely.

Mission one went off without a hitch. Onwards!

Rachel performed a little reconnaissance for us when we reached her grandparents’ house.

Luckily, the blinds were closed…
…and the door mysteriously barricaded.

It seems I had planned my mission well.

We stealthily performed a little flour-based lawn graffiti. They’ll never know what hit them!

Run away! Run away!

Whew! A clean getaway!

What a harrowing adventure! Shoes were muddied.
Rocks were stolen.
And even a parting tear was shed.

But don’t worry. It was quickly followed by triumphant screams and a victory lap around the neighborhood.

Indulge

Nothing says "I support your hobbies even though I don't enjoy them" like football strawberries.

Or maybe this is just my way of celebrating the end of the season.