In Spite Of It All

My cousin wrote a beautiful post about learning to love her husband forever.  I love her honesty and rawness.  She knows she has faults and is just so...human.  She isn't presenting some idealized version of herself for the world to see.  She owns up to her anger and temper-tantrums.  I think it is brilliant and courageous.

As we grow older, many marriages "grow apart."  Some days I look at my husband and think about how little we have in common. Some days I have to bite my tongue because words said in anger can't be taken back.  Other days we will sit and chat about everything and nothing and I realize how much I love him. 

Marriage is work.  It is up to us to open the lines of communication, to forgive our spouse and ourselves for misdeeds, to actively work towards growing together instead of growing apart.  Growing together doesn't have to mean having a ton in common.  I think it is healthy to have separate hobbies.  The important part is to recognize that those differences are part of your spouse and love them because of or in spite of it.

We have to remember, however, that having a healthy marriage starts with ourselves.  We can't wait for our spouse to initiate something.  If you want a healthier marriage, be the first to forgive, the first to say I'm sorry, the first to plan a romantic surprise, and the first to say let's talk.  If you want something, actively fight for it.  Stop comparing.  Stop waiting.  Stop resenting.  And fight...in a healthy, romantic way...not a hit 'em while they are down way.  You know what I mean.

This is something I need to work on because I'm not very good at expressing the way I feel.  Ironic for someone that has a blog, I know.  So thank you, cousin, for inspiring me to work on my marriage always, during the good and the bad.

Now what romantic and probably mischievous surprise shall I cook up for my husband?